It is narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “If it were not for Ali, there would have been no match for Fatima”

An important question may come to mind: What are these characteristics that Fatima possessed which left for her no suitable life partner other than Ali?

Well, Fatimah (a.s): 

• was raised by Rasulullah, the Holy Messenger
• loved Allah (swt), His messenger, and the truth
• passionately fought for the truth from a young age
• had a unique closeness to Allah (swt) through praying day and night and always doing good things which please her Creator
• had very high manners and never hurt anyone even if she had the ability to do so
• read the Holy Quran, learnt from it and taught it to others, along with other Islamic teachings
• was always thinking about Islam. Her happiness is derived from the spread of Islam, truth, and justice. Her sadness is caused by the spread of oppression and injustice.
  

Ali was her perfect match as he had these exact same qualities. Their pure, devout faith in Allah (swt) united them and distanced them from any personal and worldly desires. This is what made their marriage exemplary.

What can we learn from this?

Firstly, a message to parents: if you want your sons and daughters to get married, find for them the most suitable partner. If your son is religious and polite, find for him a partner who is equally so. And if your daughter has a high level of knowledge, manners and religion find her a partner who shares these qualities. Find them a match not someone who you wish your child was more like. Moreover, don’t force yourselves to settle for less in fear of your children (especially daughters) becoming older. An unsuitable partner will make their life miserable. Find them someone who has the same mindset and values, don’t rush. For example, ff your son is not religious, don’t associate him with a religious girl as she can not change him. Change must come from within and needs effort, time, a pure intention, knowledge, increased good deeds and abstention from what is bad. Do not burden the woman with the responsibility of changing an entire human being – that is not her job and this will lead to an unhappy marriage. If he is not very religious, find him a wife just like him and vice versa.

Secondly, a message to the youth: we know nothing about the appearance of Ali and Fatima, however we know a lot about their values and their love of Allah (swt). My dear sons and daughters, it is good for an individual to look after their appearance however your looks will not last and won’t help you in the Hereafter. Focus on the purity of your hearts and the love of Allah(swt), and do not pollute your hearts with that which is forbidden. If your faith is sincere, it will be reflected on your conduct, not the other way round. Further, learn to love and respect one another from these two extraordinary personalities. Do not form relationships on a temporary and worldly basis, but rather, let your relationship be for the sake of Allah (swt) and for the sake of His pleasure.

The perfect marriage is achieved through your efforts and hard work. It doesn’t come knocking at your door, you must work for it. Like a building, you must build it wisely, carefully and attentively and you must keep up with constant maintenance so that it will last.

Every year we celebrate the birth of Fatima but we neglect to implement the teachings from her life into our own and so we are not freed from the shackles of our ignorance. We need an urgent solution for our social problems and for the lack of familial stability we see all around us. Will we make the most of such occasions to reach the solution?

Dr Iman Alattar