Most Muslims have heard that “marriage is half of religion”, but what does this truly mean? Is it simply because it preserves one’s chastity? Is anyone in a marriage completing half their religion even if they are abusing their spouse? What if their spouse leads them further away from religion?

Firstly, marriage is supposed to be between a righteous man and a righteous woman. It is narrated that once a man came to the Prophet (S) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse, he (S) said, “It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse.” It is also narrated that Imam Sadiq (A.S.) said, “An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man.”  So, there is such a great importance placed by Islam on careful spouse selection, you shouldn’t just rush to get married because you want to ‘complete half your deen’.

Secondly, only people with certain characteristics can have successful marriages. These are things like respect, compromise, kindness, humility, selflessness, sacrifice and responsibility. Marriage erases arrogance, egos, and stubbornness and in the process, perfects one’s manners. In this way, it provides the perfect practical course to bring an individual closer to Allah (swt) by cultivating these attributes that Islam seeks to instil in the human being. 

It is the battle ground for the greatest Jihad of all; Jihad al-nafs, or the struggle against oneself. At times, you must battle your wishes, bad habits and ideas in order to please your loved one which can sometimes involve great sacrifices. This trains you in fighting your nafs in worship too; you may find it easier to give charity, to wake up for fajr prayers in the morning and to endure the pangs of hunger during fasting.

So, we can see here that marriage is a complete set of religious duties. When done right and with the right person, it trains you to perfect yourself and get closer to Allah (swt). Not everyone completes half their faith simply for existing in a marriage; it involves hard work and needs to be done the correct way. Truthfully, marriage doesn’t transform you per se, YOU transform it! It is not a passive experience, like riding a roller coaster with no control, it is active, like a farmer who toils his land night and day, through the hard times and the easy ones, and then is rewarded with the sweet fruits of his labor. For you to truly complete half your religion through marriage, you must be willing to put in the hard yards; nothing in this life is meant to come easy, but when done for the sake of Allah (swt), the reward is worth it.

And while you work on this half of your religion, don’t forget the other half!